The life of a fucking awesome person

Have you ever wondered how my life turned so awesome? How I stepped out of the dark, depressing hole of failure and into the glory of awesomeness? Well, now you can! Just follow these simple rules of life that I follow, and you will turn out as awesome as me (just don’t create a blog, I don’t like competition):

First of all, never underestimate your enemies. I had a lot of problems with this. Have you ever been in a position where someone is undermining you and you try to prepare but you don’t prepare for some of the more complex stuff because “they won’t think of that”. Don’t do that. Because when you do, they WILL think of that, and they WILL fuck you over. Badly.

Second of all, anything is possible. This is both motivational and literal. Anything IS possible. It IS possible that Star Wars III will be good, although it will probably never happen. It IS also possible that you’ll score tonight, although that will probably also never happen. Don’t turn your back on possibilities because “it’ll never happen”. That’s how you become non-awesome. And non-awesome people suck. Badly.

Third of all, don’t waste your time with people who don’t understand what you’re talking about. If someone is obviously not understanding the basics of awesomeness, it will probably never happen, and you should give up on them. This kind of goes against the second rule, but there is one big difference: scenarios and people aren’t the same thing.

Fourth of all, you’re awesome. You. Are. Awesome. This never changes. This never modifies. This is the exception that confirms the rule two. It will never happen that you lose your awesomeness. It isn’t possible. Everything else is possible, but not this. This NEVER changes.
(Note that you are not more awesome than me.)

So there. The four narcissistic rules of life that will make your life better. Now go with haste, put what you learned to use.
Spoiler Alerts.