The life of a fucking awesome person

Today in school I told one of my friends about I-Doser. It later came up in my friend circle and the friend I had originally told tried a quick hit. He got high. Really high. So during class we got to use the computers, and my entire friend circle immediately went on youtube and tried it. It didn’t take long until other people from my class wanted to see what was up. Now I-Doser is a HUGE thing in my class.

Anyway, today’s topic is… movies based on games.
The problem I have with movies based on games is that they always suck. ALWAYS suck. Part of the problems with these movies is mainly that most movies based on games are made by bad directors. Uwe Boll, for example, makes a lot of “game movies”. And being how Uwe Boll sucks, these movies also suck.
Another part of the problems with game movies is that games are fun because of interactivity. That’s what makes them games. But since movies are not interactive, the whole concept completely fails.

Please, movie directors of the world. DO NOT MAKE MOVIES BASED ON GAMES.

Spoiler Alerts.

I hope you don’t mind the little legal drug advertisment I did in my last post. I just had nothing to write about so I decided to write about I-Doser. However, after thinking over different possible rant subjects, I finally decided to rant on title translations.

Translating a title doesn’t seem like much of a job, right? Some titles like “Ark Angel” by Anthony Horowitz don’t need a translation because of the fact that (for example) “Ark Angel” is a part of the story, and therefore is sort of not english (of course it is, but even if you didn’t know english a book called “Ark Angel” or “Twilight” or whatever you would still be able to read the book.)
Other titles, like “Harry Potter and the philosopher’s stone”, is plain english, and can be translated to whatever language you want.

But still, the fucking translators can’t do it right. For example, the swedish translation of the title “Twilight” is “Om jag kunde drömma”, which means “If I could dream”. Why? Why?! WHY?! What the fuck is that for a translation? Twilight is the time between dawn and sunrise. How. Hard. Is it. To translate. That. Into swedish. Apparently impossible for the fuckwads who translated it.

Want another example? As I mentioned, “Ark Angel” is a part of the plot to “Ark Angel”. Want to know what they translated that to? “Hotet från himmlen”, which happens to mean “the threat from above.”
Jesus. Christ.
You have an easy fricking title. You can leave it as it is. WHY is it so fucking hard to leave it? Are these people retarded?

Spoiler Alerts.

While mindlessly surfing forums, I found out about a program called “I-Doser”, the basic idea is that it uses sound waves to change your brain waves to simulate being high. Sounds like bullshit, right? Well I decided to check it out anyway, and I tracked down a free download of the program and a bundle of “doses”. I tried out one called “nitrous”, and damn, it worked to some degree. Listed among the effects of the dose I was using, was “laughing”, and guess what? I laughed like hell without any reason. I was just lying there and I started laughing like a maniac. I later on tried on an “anti-headache” one, and it also worked. Still not convinced? Earlier today I tried a sedative dose, and it worked as well.

If you want more proof that the doses work:

Gates of Hades and Hand of God are listed as “Premium (Unexplainable)”, and the effects of them seem pretty severe.

So check it out.
Link to I-Doser’s website:
www.i-doser.com

Link to I-Doser download with dose bundle:

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=CI3LWEW0

Remember to run the “Reset” dose between doses.
Comment if you have any feedback or problems.

UPDATE:
I realized I forgot to give some instructions on how to use I-Doser, so here is the basic step-by-step guide:
1. Darken down your enviroment.
2. Make sure there won’t be any sounds that distract you.
3. Use headphones. THIS IS IMPORTANT.
4. Turn on the dose.
5. Lie down, relax, try to concentrate on the sound.
6. If you want to try another dose immediately afterwards run the “Reset” dose first.

My class sucks. Wanna know why? Let me explain my classmates. I’ll make a short text about everyone, and to protect their identities, I’ll use HILARIOUS aliases (that actually suck, but, y’know.)

Bland girl
Bland girl is… well, bland. As hell. She is your typical girl. She worries about make up, clothing, and is stupid as hell. The amazing thing is she isn’t blond.

Bland girl copy
Bland girl copy is bland girl in a new package. There is not much to say. She’s so bland I can’t even find words for how bland it is.

Bland girl blond
Hey kids, bland girl now comes in the package she should’ve come in from the beginning. She’s blond. And annoying.

Bland girl ‘98 edition
Here is another bland girl. However, she is younger than the other bland girls. She was actually created born in 1998. Finally some (kind of) variety.

Annoying douchebag
Annoying douchebag is a fucking asshole. I can not find words for how much I want to punch him in the face.

Annoying douchebag ‘98 edition
Hey, it’s another ‘98 version! This time it’s even worse. This guy probably has like ADHD or something, because he can NEVER SIT STILL. Actually, he is ALWAYS doing something. ALWAYS. Pretty much everyone in class hates him because he disturbs class so much.

Weirdface
Yeah, I’m gonna get fucking slaughtered at school when Annoying douchebag ‘98 edition (who reads this blog) tells him I called him Weirdface. But whatever, Weirdface is pretty ok. He never talks or anything, so I can’t say he’s a douche or something.

Tall Bitch
Tall Bitch is tall, annoying, and incredibly stupid. Not really stupid as in not smart, but completely lacking common sense. The type of person who you could think “Hmm, not too stupid, but really fucking stupid”, about.

Pretty Decent Girl, I guess?
She’s pretty decent. She’s kind of bland, but ok. Not the person I love, but not the person I hate. Next person.

Awesome guy
Awesome guy is awesome. Weird, huh? Not much to say here. He’s pretty damn awesome.

Awesome guy 2
This guy is awesome guy, but not a copy of awesome guy. He actually has his own personality etc. Therefore he does not carry the name “Awesome guy copy”.

Not so awesome guy
This guy is pretty cool, but is often a douche. Not really bad, but not really good either.

Not so awesome guy 2
Same thing. Pretty cool guy, but not the best guy ever.

Retard/DAMP/Whatever bitch
This bitch is seriously, SERIOUSLY, a retard. She overreacts to everything. EVERYTHING. She slams doors, yells at people, whatever. She has problems. Serious problems.

There are pretty man more, but some of them I can’t remember, and some I just don’t care about enough to write about.

Spoiler Alerts.

New-age sucks. Why? Because it’s a way for whiny old people sitting at home to “support nature” and at the same time cure that annoying rash on their butt. But here is the fact: new-age stuff is fucking bullshit. The only way you’ll get any form of response from new-age treatment is either placebo or the body curing itself. But if you’re stuck with AIDS or cancer and put your hopes in new-age, you are going to DIE. And what makes it worse is that the people who support new-age explain the getting worse as getting better. Just watch the south park episode “Cherokee Hair Tampons” and you’ll see what I mean. So basically, when you introduce yourself to new-age you do it because you want to be closer to earth, because the people who work with new-age are so “close to earth”, that regular doctors are so horribly greedy and only want your money. Y’know, that’s true. Doctors want your money. They want your money so that they can live. But they’re atleast honest about it, and atleast they actually, oh I don’t know, HELP PEOPLE?

So basically, if you ever walk by a new-age store, don’t walk inside. Instead throw a molotov cocktail through the window and torch it to the ground. Let those bastards die screaming and listen to the sound. A circle is round.
Sorry, kind of got into rhyming crappily.

Spoiler Alerts.

And also, because of complaints received from a certain person, I know that it’s “at least”, but I like writing it together, so fuck you.

‘Sup people. Haven’t posted for a while, and to get the annoying ass fanboy that goes to my school to stop asking me if there is any new stuff on here, here is a new rant:

So the 13th november a movie 2012 came out. I saw it. It was pretty damn bad, but watchable. But that isn’t my subject for this rant. The subject of my rant is this:
Some things are not good to talk about in a trailer. I mean, watch this trailer for 2012 and spot the thing that isn’t especially promoting.

Alright, you seen it? Now make a guess what is bad about it. THEY FEATURE ROLAND EMMERICH’S NAME IN IT. Now, don’t get me wrong. It’s good that they feature who made the film’s name in it so that if it’s someone good like Steven Spielberg it would get a better reaction. But Roland Emmerich. Isn’t. Good. Not only that, but in another trailer they even feature “from the creator of Independence Day”. Is that good publicity? NO. That’s fucking stupid. Roland Emmerich blows. Ass. I mean, being proud about having a movie by Roland Emmerich is like being proud about loving “Dianetics.”

This has been a fairly short rant, but I really don’t have any more material. Advertising a movie with “Directed by Roland Emmerich” is just bullshit.

I’d like to share with you a list I’ve put together of people that really, really, really, need to die.
Note that this list is not in a particular order. Here we go.

Miley Cyrus
I really hope I won’t have to go into details why Miley Cyrus needs to die. But if you don’t know why she needs to die, I can give you the following advice:
1. Go to hell.
2. Learn that Disney sucks.

George Lucas
God damn George Lucas. Sure, he’s made good movies such as Star Wars 4-6 and Indiana Jones. But then again…

Ronald A. Katz
This bastard invented the automated call center. Basically, he is the douchebag that makes you go through this when you want to reach tech support:
“Douchebag Shit Company Automated Call Center. Press one for the closest Pizza Hut. Press two to get away with armed robbery…”
Twenty minutes later.
“Press 129384918491385719128284918 for Tech Support.”
Bastard.

Mitch Bainwol
Mr. Bainwol started the RIAA. Fucking asshole.

Seth MacFarlane
Two words. Family Guy. Two more. American Dad.

Matt Groening
This is George Lucas all over again. The Simpsons used to be good. Now it sucks. I’ve also heard that Futurama sucks now too, however, I am not willing to investigate this.

The Jonas Brothers
Disney music. Oh, how agonizing. I hate disney music. It sucks. I’d seriously listen to Andreas Holmgren (me) – The Worst Song Ever (Bleeding Ears Remix) for the rest of my life instead of listening to one jonas brothers song.

Kanye West
Yo, Kanye, I’m really happy for you, and I’ma let you finish, but you need to die.

Bill Gates
God damn Bill Gates. I seriously want to beat the living shit out of him. Wait, what am I saying? I mean I want to kill him.

David Miscavige
Scientologist asshole.

Tom Cruise
Sorry Mr. Cruise, but not only are you a fucking asshole, but you are a fucking scientologist asshole. All scientologists must die.

Nazis
Do I even need to comment on this?

Michael Bay
This is how I planned Michael Bay’s death:
We have a bunch of bombs go off and it’s like BAAAAAAAAM, then there are these guys and they are like NOOOOOOOOOOOOO, then a chopper crashes into the street and it’s like BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM, then a tanker car loses control and rams a building and it falls down and it’s like CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. Wait, what was I talking about?

Steve Jobs
Steve Jobs is a douchebag. With his iThis and iThat. Pisses me off. Fuck him. Google is the only IT company that I actually like.

Justin Bieber
Honestly I don’t know too much about this guy, but he is what, 11? Any musician under 18 is usually not worht the time.

Johan Palm
Johan Palm appeared in the swedish version of Idol the year 2008. He finished 4th, which really isn’t too bad, but what is amazing is that he made it past auditions. He. Is. Horrible. He really doesn’t know how to sing, it sounds like he’s still in puberty for gods sake.

Every Single Actor From “High School Musical”
High School Musical, High School Musical 2 and High School Musical 3 are THE worst movies of all time. Zac Efron, Ashley Tisdale, Zac Efron* and whatever that black guy’s name is are all horrible actors. They are worse than the “mom they’ve got my mom” guy from Pocket Ninjas. “Who?” You ask? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CaTb6wL_pFE

Whoever invented Kidz Bop
Hey! Do you hate good music? Well listen to kidz bop! And what’s amazing about it is that somehow it was a huge success, since they made like 30 more of them. Really? Who wants to listen to bitchy kids singing bad songs?

The actual list is much longer, but I don’t feel like adding more. I’ll add more updates to this list when I feel like it.
Spoiler Alerts.

*If your really don’t get it, he is so bad I had to mention him twice.

I’d like to share a revelation that I’ve had during my time here. Disney movies suck. Why? Because they all follow the same pattern. Now don’t get me wrong here, the old animated ones are great. But the new ones, like High School Musical and Camp Rock are the same movie with new (sometimes not even that) actors. This is the basic plot of a disney movie:

1. Outsider boy/girl wants to date popular boy/girl but the popular boy/girl is a total douche.
2. New boy/girl joins school and the outsider boy/girl becomes friend with new boy/girl.
3. Something happens to make the outsider boy/girl popular and he/she abandons new boy/girl for the popular boy/girl.
4. They sing a song and then the outsider boy/girl realizes that the popular boy/girl is a total douche and chooses the new boy/girl. And they all live happily ever after.

Sure, this system works. Once. But when you do it over and over and over again, it gets quite repetitive. Especially when they used it THREE MOTHERFUCKING TIMES IN ONE SERIES, AND IT’S EXACTLY THE SAME EVERY TIME. Luckily I haven’t seen HSM3, phew, but I can guess, since they didn’t change it the 2 last times.
Also, just for lulz, a little extra: the OTHER disney formula. Oh em gee! They have two different formulas! Christ! Holy shit! I think the world is coming to an end. Like fire and brimstone raining from the sky. Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together, MASS HYSTERIA (yeah, as you can tell, my ghostbusters references suck, mainly since I don’t remember the quote.) Anyway, here is the other formula, which I can’t think of any special movie with, but they certainly overused this one in their sitcoms.

1. New guy (and it’s always a new guy) joins school. Wow, this sounding familiar?
2. Bland girl who is quite popular is all like “that guy is a nerd”, but secretely likes him.
3. She starts sort of hanging out with him.
4. During some “romantic” moment they realize they love each other.
5. They fight and break up, usually because of bland girl’s popularity.
6. They make up, usually because bland girl realizes love overcomes all, or some bullshit.
7. ????
8. PROFIT.

AND THE CROWD GOES WILD.
Now, I’m not going to go into the music, because I had quite a lot to eat today and my house is freshly cleaned, if y’know what I’m saying (if you don’t, the music is so horrible that it makes me throw up, you retard).

Spoiler Alerts.
Seriously, I just spoiled like every upcoming disney movie. Ever.

Just finished watching Blade 2. Well, I’ve seen it like 3 times before, but it was on so I decided to watch it. Basically, Blade has to kill super vampires. Oh noes! They almost kick his ass, then he gets a bunch of blood, kicks their asses, realizes that the regular vampires were traitors (they actually made the super vampires, oh noes!) and he has to fight both the first super vampire who is a super super vampire, and the regular vampires. So he kills the regular vampires (after he gets a bunch of blood), then he kills the first super vampire. So now the first super vampire is dead, but oh noes! He infected his sister, who JUST HAPPENS to be Blade’s love interest. So Blade has to kill his love interest, oh noes! So he kills his love interest, oh noes! And then rolls the credits, oh noes! Wait…

If you’re wondering why the title is “Finally…” it’s because I finally get to say:

Spoiler Alerts.
And while we’re on the topic:
Blade’s helpguy (I forget his name) dies in Blade Trinity.
Snape kills Dumbledore.
It was the butler who did it.
Price doesn’t die.
Cpt. MacTavish gets stabbed.
Makarov was hired by Shepherd.
And I’m counting way too many Modern Warfare references.

If you didn’t read my last post, then fuck you, read it. When you’ve gotten over the overuse of capital letters and ellipses, go to the link and read that. Now you can understand what I’m ranting about.

So basically, some guy used penny stocks to earn millions? Wow, sounds really legit. What makes it more legit is the way it’s written. Every Word Has A Capital Letter Like This…

…And There Is An Overuse Of Ellipses.

Does that makes sense to you? If it does, please get the fuck off my site you nazi.

Now there might not be much rant in this rant, but just look at that site. You don’t even NEED to rant on it. It practically destroys itself.

Spoiler… God I really need to rant on something that you can actually spoil.